The Tradegy of Foster Homes

................................................................................................When my Mom and Dad split up all 6 of us children went into foster homes the summer of 1963 when I was about 15 years old. After a couple of years in foster care, our father finally got it together and bought a home and we all came to live with him except our brother Steven. It was a very traumatic event that altered the lives of each and every one of us children. Our happy home, we thought, would be forever changed the summer of '63. The pain and anguish of that time in our lives as children are still to this day remembered just like yesterdays events. It will never be forgotten. So, be careful who you choose to have children with and be the love of your life. Don't get married at too young an age, these marriages although seem like the right thing to do at the time take away precious time to grow up and these marriages very seldom if ever last long. Like our mothers and fathers. The proof is all around us. Just look at the lives of the people you know. Make sure you get to know that person for at least 2 years. That doesnt mean living with them, but to know them first before you decide that you want to have 84 kidlets with that person. Regarding each others families: Make sure you both are willing to treat each others parents and siblings of each other with respect, dignity, kindness, and civility and to do unto the others families as you would unto your own. Its a committment remember! Too many families are broken and devalued, made to be unimportant, further by a husband or wife who is controlling and obviously has a different set of values for their spouse's immediate family. Your spouse must be willing to be kind and respectful to your side of the family. Life is too precious to incumber it with negatives. It takes just as much effort to get along as to not. Remember it isn't all about you but what you can do for each other that cements a relationship with forevership. You learn to become each others soulmate by showing each other that you are willing to sacrifice the immediate gratification of your wants, to the wants and needs of the whole (the entity created when you both commit to being one). (This doesnt apply to families that are violent, who commit adultry, who assault, violate, and sexually assault the very innocent children. Stay away no matter what if you value your family.) Remember to pick wisely a mate, a child needs and wants his parents together, it is imperative that this value be remembered when you choose a mate. Getting to know that person after childbirth is not a safe bet. I know because I chose unwisely a husband for my first child and she suffered greatly because of this. It was a mistake I shall always regret and greive for what should have been but was not. But what happens to kids when parents divorce or go off with other people, have more kids, shack up, maybe marry, maybe not, is that with all the chaos they start not doing well in school, they start experimenting with sex, drugs and alcohol. They get in trouble with gangs, they get very depressed, and they get into accidents which are really attempts at suicide. In other words, our children act out in all kinds of ways, they show tremendous rage or turn completely inwards. Parents then get annoyed about how their kids are behaving after they’re divorced and re-married and getting on with their lives. “Why aren’t the kids just conforming? Dammit. Pain and motivation is out there every day as you take away the kid’s foundation, as you make your child compete with other people’s kids, new kids…whatever. I guess you may see more murders, or attempted murders from kids in these situations. Why? Because this goes on all over the media and gives kids ideas. They go on the internet, they get ideas, and their little brains that are totally unformed yet…little ideas that are bad sound good when other people have done it. And they get in the paper and they get on the internet and they get on television. I suspect you’ll see more of this. Up to now, you’ve mostly seen just self abuse. Self abuse, meaning everything as simple as not washing, not having friends anymore, not working hard in school…to self-mutilation, to addictions, to promiscuity, to illegal activities. This is a big notch up, don’t you think? Especially when it all comes from the same place: chaos. So, children need their parents and if they cannot have that, then the next best thing would be for the mother to be with her parents (if possible) so the children can have a father figure each child needs. If no parents or aunts or uncles are suitable then do it alone but without boyfriends. Children do not need the aggravation of boyfriend after boyfriend coming in and out of their lives. It just complicates their lives and is unbearable at times and leads them to conclusions about life that they shouldnt have to make under those circumstances. Is all this possible? YES